I've been struggling lately with re-gaining my perspective on what I'm doing. The last few weeks have been really challenging, both intellectually and psychologically. The last few weeks haven't been that much fun either. And although I always try to focus on the big picture...I readily admit that I lost my perspective for a while.
Over the last few days, the universe helped me get it back. Thanks to the help of supportive family members (st. patty's day family party) and friends (www.bogotabistro.com) . As well as a phone call from an old soccer teammate, who is now the chief resident of pediatrics in Chicago.
My childhood friend attended an accelerated 6 year medical program (undergrad plus medical school) and became an MD by age 24! She is now moving back to NYC to complete a fellowship in pediatric cardiology. She empathized with my feelings and listening to her express how she felt while in medical school comforted me. I know she continues to make personal sacrifices in order to be the best doctor she can be. She's an inspiration to me, and always has been. Her phone call came at a time when I needed it most.
Thanks, Dr. Shetty!
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Temporary Insanity
Just when you thought it couldn't get anymore stressful...
We now have classes 6 days a week! My only day off is Saturday.
I will continue to train clients at the gym Saturday mornings.
But, no more hostessing. No more sleeping in.
Something's gotta give.
My new daily mantra, "This is only temporary!"
Temporary insanity.
We now have classes 6 days a week! My only day off is Saturday.
I will continue to train clients at the gym Saturday mornings.
But, no more hostessing. No more sleeping in.
Something's gotta give.
My new daily mantra, "This is only temporary!"
Temporary insanity.
Friday, March 10, 2006
T-rex Ain't Going Down Like That!
We weren't supposed to have class until 5pm on Thursday (the day after the "Nerds Gone Wild"). I was really looking forward to sleeping in, making eggs, and watching The View with a nice cup of coffee. But when my phone rang at 10am, I knew my plans for a relaxing morning were ruined.
I wasn't a very happy camper when our class president called saying that we were EXPECTED to be at the school at noon to review the test (massacre) from the day before. The stress from the day before was still lingering. And the post-test anxiety kept me awake half of the night. Needless to say, my nerves were still frazzled.
I received a few phone calls from classmates that were thinking about not going in early as a form of protest. I fully understood where they were coming from, and as much as I didn't want to go in early, I couldn't not go. I signed up for this. I chose this path. And this was part of the game.
About 90% of my classmates showed up. When our pulmonary instructor walked through the door he smiled and said, "Don't attack me!" I was relieved to see him smiling. I was certain we were going to get yelled at for doing so poorly on the exam. But, to my surprise, we heard the opposite.
The instructor said, "I know you guys were upset with me and with the exam, but I am VERY happy with the results! You guys did a great job!"
WHAT?!?!?!
The instructor then addressed EVERY SINGLE one of our concerns. He listened to us as we expressed our disgust at getting tested on information we never learned. He listened to us as we expressed our dissatisfaction with some of our lectures. He listened to us as we told him about the unnecessary stress we went through.
The bottomline is that HE LISTENED TO US. And that made us all feel better.
Then the director of the program came into the room and also congratulated us on doing a good job on the exam. He told us that they purposefully put 30-40 questions on the exam that they knew we weren't prepared for. They did it on purpose. They wanted to see how we would do. They wanted to see if we'd crack under the pressure.
The highest grade on the exam was an 80. They told us that if we scored between a 60-80 then we did well. They told us that the majority of the class did score in that range and that our scores were higher than the national average for board questions at this point in our training. They told us to be proud of ourselves.
I felt very confused and overwhelmed by what he was saying. My classmates weren't fully buying it. The director also fielded questions and addressed our criticisms and concerns about our education. The director responded with, "You guys have to TRUST ME...we've been doing this for a long time and we want every one of you to succeed and pass the boards...TRUST ME!"
After he left, the instructor spent the next 2.5 hours reviewing the exam with us. He reviewed the questions that the majority of the class got wrong. There were 35 questions on his list and with every question he asked us why we got it wrong...what we thought the answer was...and if it was a fair question based on the education we received to that point. It was unbelievable and even moreso when the class accepted responsibility for the questions we legitimately got wrong.
I have to say that my classmates are extremely professional and mature when it comes to stuff like this. It's refreshing to be surrounded by classmates that hold themselves accountable for their actions. A class that is more concered with learning how to take care of patients than outscoring each other on exams. Although I have a hard time believing everything we're told...I do believe them when they say we're a "special group". Your classmates make all the difference.
After we finished reviewing the exam, we all went upstairs to the program office to get our "unofficial" grade. The grades will be curved after all. But we all wanted to know if we fell within the coveted 60-80 range. So we waited on line, single file, and one by one went into the office to get our grade.
When I walked into the office the instructor said, "Good job!" I scored within the range. But, I still felt uneasy about the experience.
It's taken me a couple of days to recover from that traumatic day. For the first time in my life, I've put ALL of my eggs into one basket. My life revolves around school. I've never had to work so hard before to achieve a goal. I've made many sacrifices to get to this point and to sit down at an exam and not know the answer to 20+ questions is a very unsettling experience. It freaked me out and I got scared. And for the first time since the program started, I caught myself thinking, "What am I doing this for?"
So, my next challenge is to turn that fear into motivation. I'll be damned if I sit down for an exam and get hosed like that again.
T-rex ain't going down like that.
I wasn't a very happy camper when our class president called saying that we were EXPECTED to be at the school at noon to review the test (massacre) from the day before. The stress from the day before was still lingering. And the post-test anxiety kept me awake half of the night. Needless to say, my nerves were still frazzled.
I received a few phone calls from classmates that were thinking about not going in early as a form of protest. I fully understood where they were coming from, and as much as I didn't want to go in early, I couldn't not go. I signed up for this. I chose this path. And this was part of the game.
About 90% of my classmates showed up. When our pulmonary instructor walked through the door he smiled and said, "Don't attack me!" I was relieved to see him smiling. I was certain we were going to get yelled at for doing so poorly on the exam. But, to my surprise, we heard the opposite.
The instructor said, "I know you guys were upset with me and with the exam, but I am VERY happy with the results! You guys did a great job!"
WHAT?!?!?!
The instructor then addressed EVERY SINGLE one of our concerns. He listened to us as we expressed our disgust at getting tested on information we never learned. He listened to us as we expressed our dissatisfaction with some of our lectures. He listened to us as we told him about the unnecessary stress we went through.
The bottomline is that HE LISTENED TO US. And that made us all feel better.
Then the director of the program came into the room and also congratulated us on doing a good job on the exam. He told us that they purposefully put 30-40 questions on the exam that they knew we weren't prepared for. They did it on purpose. They wanted to see how we would do. They wanted to see if we'd crack under the pressure.
The highest grade on the exam was an 80. They told us that if we scored between a 60-80 then we did well. They told us that the majority of the class did score in that range and that our scores were higher than the national average for board questions at this point in our training. They told us to be proud of ourselves.
I felt very confused and overwhelmed by what he was saying. My classmates weren't fully buying it. The director also fielded questions and addressed our criticisms and concerns about our education. The director responded with, "You guys have to TRUST ME...we've been doing this for a long time and we want every one of you to succeed and pass the boards...TRUST ME!"
After he left, the instructor spent the next 2.5 hours reviewing the exam with us. He reviewed the questions that the majority of the class got wrong. There were 35 questions on his list and with every question he asked us why we got it wrong...what we thought the answer was...and if it was a fair question based on the education we received to that point. It was unbelievable and even moreso when the class accepted responsibility for the questions we legitimately got wrong.
I have to say that my classmates are extremely professional and mature when it comes to stuff like this. It's refreshing to be surrounded by classmates that hold themselves accountable for their actions. A class that is more concered with learning how to take care of patients than outscoring each other on exams. Although I have a hard time believing everything we're told...I do believe them when they say we're a "special group". Your classmates make all the difference.
After we finished reviewing the exam, we all went upstairs to the program office to get our "unofficial" grade. The grades will be curved after all. But we all wanted to know if we fell within the coveted 60-80 range. So we waited on line, single file, and one by one went into the office to get our grade.
When I walked into the office the instructor said, "Good job!" I scored within the range. But, I still felt uneasy about the experience.
It's taken me a couple of days to recover from that traumatic day. For the first time in my life, I've put ALL of my eggs into one basket. My life revolves around school. I've never had to work so hard before to achieve a goal. I've made many sacrifices to get to this point and to sit down at an exam and not know the answer to 20+ questions is a very unsettling experience. It freaked me out and I got scared. And for the first time since the program started, I caught myself thinking, "What am I doing this for?"
So, my next challenge is to turn that fear into motivation. I'll be damned if I sit down for an exam and get hosed like that again.
T-rex ain't going down like that.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Nerds Gone Wild!
Today was not a good day.
We had a cumulative final exam on the pulmonary system. I did well on the mid-term so I felt somewhat secure going into the final. But, I still studied my butt off and sacrificed yet another weekend to hit the books. But, for some reason...in the back of my mind...I felt like no matter how hard I studied...it wasn't going to pay off.
I started the exam and the first 5 questions were easy. I was getting into the groove and felt optimistic about the next 95 questions. But, for some reason, I noticed that the room was especially quiet.
It was, indeed, the calm before the storm.
Twenty minutes into the exam one of my classmates busted out laughing and said, "Are you kidding me, we never learned this!" This classmate is usually very reserved and quiet (no, it wasn't me!) and shocked the proctor. In fact, she shocked the entire class. The proctor quickly walked over to her, but by then, it was too late. The ENTIRE class had erupted into chaos.
For the record, our class is normally well behaved and professional.
"Who wrote this exam?"
"Where is the instructor, this is ridiculous!"
"Are you ***** kidding me?"
I've never seen anything like it. A class full of angry, smart people revolting over the fact that they were getting hosed on an exam.
"Nerds Gone Wild!"
When other people freak out, I get calm. So, I sat back and observed. Some were so angry, their faces were bright red. Some were muttering curse words under their breathe. Others wiped tears from their eyes. One girl even stood up and walked around to calm herself down. I'm telling you...it was CRAZY!
It may sound strange, but some of the questions provoked strong feelings of anger and betrayal. And I will try to explain why...
We were set up by the same man that told us..."there ain't no crying in PA school". The same man that reminded us that we would be held accountable for everything that we've learned up to this point, on any exam, at any time. So we studied our butts off...and we were given questions on information that was never EVER presented to us. I'm not talking about a few questions here and there....I'm talking about blocks of questions...between 30-40 questions on a 100 question exam!
There were clinical questions that included lab results and radiology findings. Yet, we haven't taken lab medicine or radiology yet. Clinical questions require critical thinking and that is what this exam was all about. Critical thinking was not the problem. But, when you haven't been taught two major components that would lead you to a diagnosis...it's frustrating. VERY VERY FRUSTRATING!
The worst part was that halfway through the exam, the proctor left and brought in one of the instructors that wrote questions for the exam. With a smirk on his face, he said, "these are the types of questions you will get on the BOARD EXAM!" That didn't do anything to help my psyche. Although we don't take the board exam for another year and a half (!!!!)...it still struck a nerve within each and every one of us.
Some students left the exam early. Others put down random answers. The majority of us stuck it out and battled through it. We were given 3 hours for the exam. It took me 2 hours and 45 minutes.
I felt completely drained afterwards. As well as the stupidest PA student to ever walk the earth. It wasn't a humbling experience...it was a demeaning experience. Nobody likes to feel stupid. But for some reason, they put us through it. For some reason, they upped the ante without dealing out all the cards.
For some reason, they wanted to strike that nerve within us.
And T-rex doesn't like that.
We had a cumulative final exam on the pulmonary system. I did well on the mid-term so I felt somewhat secure going into the final. But, I still studied my butt off and sacrificed yet another weekend to hit the books. But, for some reason...in the back of my mind...I felt like no matter how hard I studied...it wasn't going to pay off.
I started the exam and the first 5 questions were easy. I was getting into the groove and felt optimistic about the next 95 questions. But, for some reason, I noticed that the room was especially quiet.
It was, indeed, the calm before the storm.
Twenty minutes into the exam one of my classmates busted out laughing and said, "Are you kidding me, we never learned this!" This classmate is usually very reserved and quiet (no, it wasn't me!) and shocked the proctor. In fact, she shocked the entire class. The proctor quickly walked over to her, but by then, it was too late. The ENTIRE class had erupted into chaos.
For the record, our class is normally well behaved and professional.
"Who wrote this exam?"
"Where is the instructor, this is ridiculous!"
"Are you ***** kidding me?"
I've never seen anything like it. A class full of angry, smart people revolting over the fact that they were getting hosed on an exam.
"Nerds Gone Wild!"
When other people freak out, I get calm. So, I sat back and observed. Some were so angry, their faces were bright red. Some were muttering curse words under their breathe. Others wiped tears from their eyes. One girl even stood up and walked around to calm herself down. I'm telling you...it was CRAZY!
It may sound strange, but some of the questions provoked strong feelings of anger and betrayal. And I will try to explain why...
We were set up by the same man that told us..."there ain't no crying in PA school". The same man that reminded us that we would be held accountable for everything that we've learned up to this point, on any exam, at any time. So we studied our butts off...and we were given questions on information that was never EVER presented to us. I'm not talking about a few questions here and there....I'm talking about blocks of questions...between 30-40 questions on a 100 question exam!
There were clinical questions that included lab results and radiology findings. Yet, we haven't taken lab medicine or radiology yet. Clinical questions require critical thinking and that is what this exam was all about. Critical thinking was not the problem. But, when you haven't been taught two major components that would lead you to a diagnosis...it's frustrating. VERY VERY FRUSTRATING!
The worst part was that halfway through the exam, the proctor left and brought in one of the instructors that wrote questions for the exam. With a smirk on his face, he said, "these are the types of questions you will get on the BOARD EXAM!" That didn't do anything to help my psyche. Although we don't take the board exam for another year and a half (!!!!)...it still struck a nerve within each and every one of us.
Some students left the exam early. Others put down random answers. The majority of us stuck it out and battled through it. We were given 3 hours for the exam. It took me 2 hours and 45 minutes.
I felt completely drained afterwards. As well as the stupidest PA student to ever walk the earth. It wasn't a humbling experience...it was a demeaning experience. Nobody likes to feel stupid. But for some reason, they put us through it. For some reason, they upped the ante without dealing out all the cards.
For some reason, they wanted to strike that nerve within us.
And T-rex doesn't like that.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
The Art of Practice
Medicine is not an absolute science. Our pediatrics instructor constantly reminds us that practicing medicine is an art form. There are so many variables and so many different treatment options. When you become a PA or an MD, you get a license to PRACTICE medicine. The key word is practice.
Now, I didn't learn that from a PA/MD/PhD instructor. I learned that from a man living with AIDS. A man who was told he was going to die since he only had a handful of t-cells left. For 2 years, that man was continually told he was at the brink of death. But, he continued to live. And one day, his t-cell count began to rise. And suddenly his medical team was telling him he was going to live. And he did...for 8 more years.
Before he died, I told him I was considering a career as a PA. I had many doubts about whether or not I had the brain capacity to know all there is to know about medicine. And that is when he told me, "Medicine is very challenging, but you have to keep in mind that you will get a license to PRACTICE medicine. I used to get very angry with my medical team until I realized and accepted that there wasn't one person with all of the answers. Until I realized that no 2 human bodies are exactly the same. And I found great peace when I discovered the power of the human spirit. I was told I was going to die 8 years ago...and my spirit said NO!"
So when I find myself getting aggravated by the "know-it-all" PA/MD/PhD instructors...I think of this man, this man who defied the transient laws of medicine and I quickly regain my perspective.
I am a student studying the art of medicine. And like every artist in training, I'm developing my own style. A style that will incorporate the power of the human spirit.
Now, I didn't learn that from a PA/MD/PhD instructor. I learned that from a man living with AIDS. A man who was told he was going to die since he only had a handful of t-cells left. For 2 years, that man was continually told he was at the brink of death. But, he continued to live. And one day, his t-cell count began to rise. And suddenly his medical team was telling him he was going to live. And he did...for 8 more years.
Before he died, I told him I was considering a career as a PA. I had many doubts about whether or not I had the brain capacity to know all there is to know about medicine. And that is when he told me, "Medicine is very challenging, but you have to keep in mind that you will get a license to PRACTICE medicine. I used to get very angry with my medical team until I realized and accepted that there wasn't one person with all of the answers. Until I realized that no 2 human bodies are exactly the same. And I found great peace when I discovered the power of the human spirit. I was told I was going to die 8 years ago...and my spirit said NO!"
So when I find myself getting aggravated by the "know-it-all" PA/MD/PhD instructors...I think of this man, this man who defied the transient laws of medicine and I quickly regain my perspective.
I am a student studying the art of medicine. And like every artist in training, I'm developing my own style. A style that will incorporate the power of the human spirit.
Monday, March 06, 2006
STOP Smoking People!
If people didn't smoke, I'd have a lot LESS studying to do.
Smoking is a risk factor for a bizillion different diseases. And I have to know them all!!!
So, if you're lacking in motivation...please do it for me!!!
This PSA announcement is brought to you by a very tired (sick of studying) PA student.
Smoking is a risk factor for a bizillion different diseases. And I have to know them all!!!
So, if you're lacking in motivation...please do it for me!!!
This PSA announcement is brought to you by a very tired (sick of studying) PA student.
Academy Awards
Life requires skillful acting at times.
After my performance this weekend, I'm likely to be nominated for an Academy Award next year.
So, after PA school, I think I'll head to Hollywood. Afterall, I wouldn't mind playing opposite Patrick Dempsey on Grey's Anatomy.
I've got the medical terminology down...
After my performance this weekend, I'm likely to be nominated for an Academy Award next year.
So, after PA school, I think I'll head to Hollywood. Afterall, I wouldn't mind playing opposite Patrick Dempsey on Grey's Anatomy.
I've got the medical terminology down...
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Good Stuff!
The messy fog of doom and gloom has lifted.
1. My Godson, Cross Alexander, was born Monday night!
2. I can read EKGs!!!
3. Mid-terms have ended!
4. I slept for 7 straight hours last night...the most sleep I've gotten in 10 days!
5. I will be hostessing Friday night at Bogota!
I feel like a new woman! (actually, it's just nice to feel HUMAN again)
Although mid-terms ended last night, FINALS begin next week for some of the classes. Time is going by so fast that it's hard to figure out what is going on at all times. I can't believe it's March 1st!!!
I START ROTATIONS EXACTLY 6 MONTHS FROM NOW!!!!!
1. My Godson, Cross Alexander, was born Monday night!
2. I can read EKGs!!!
3. Mid-terms have ended!
4. I slept for 7 straight hours last night...the most sleep I've gotten in 10 days!
5. I will be hostessing Friday night at Bogota!
I feel like a new woman! (actually, it's just nice to feel HUMAN again)
Although mid-terms ended last night, FINALS begin next week for some of the classes. Time is going by so fast that it's hard to figure out what is going on at all times. I can't believe it's March 1st!!!
I START ROTATIONS EXACTLY 6 MONTHS FROM NOW!!!!!
Monday, February 27, 2006
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Busted Weekend
I declined on the two party invites.
I cancelled all of my gym clients.
My friend from out of town flaked.
And study group plans went awry.
All in all...it was a busted weekend. This was the third weekend in a row that I spent holed up in my room studying. Two more exams this week and no idea what is happening next week, because we haven't gotten the schedule yet.
I'm a strong girl and I can take the hits, but this semester is a nightmare compared to last semester. One of my peers remarked, "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but it kind of makes me feel better knowing that you're struggling with everything right now...you're always so composed and stoic."
I didn't take it the wrong way. Misery loves company. And right now...misery abounds. We're all feeling this way and now I realize why they say your peers become your family. In that respect, it's awesome.
I know it will change and I know it will get better. And I know it's par for the course.
And I also know that I need to go to Bogota for some much needed TLC.
www.bogotabistro.com
I cancelled all of my gym clients.
My friend from out of town flaked.
And study group plans went awry.
All in all...it was a busted weekend. This was the third weekend in a row that I spent holed up in my room studying. Two more exams this week and no idea what is happening next week, because we haven't gotten the schedule yet.
I'm a strong girl and I can take the hits, but this semester is a nightmare compared to last semester. One of my peers remarked, "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but it kind of makes me feel better knowing that you're struggling with everything right now...you're always so composed and stoic."
I didn't take it the wrong way. Misery loves company. And right now...misery abounds. We're all feeling this way and now I realize why they say your peers become your family. In that respect, it's awesome.
I know it will change and I know it will get better. And I know it's par for the course.
And I also know that I need to go to Bogota for some much needed TLC.
www.bogotabistro.com
Monday, February 20, 2006
Snack On This
According to the 2001 Surgeon General's report..."the gains made in past years to improving cardiovascular health have been reversed due to obesity."
Since McDonald's opened it's doors (1950's?), there has been a 300% INCREASE in OBESITY.
Lastly, the greatest factor correlating with the development of obesity is the presence of a TV in a child's bedroom.
Just random facts I wanted to share.
Since McDonald's opened it's doors (1950's?), there has been a 300% INCREASE in OBESITY.
Lastly, the greatest factor correlating with the development of obesity is the presence of a TV in a child's bedroom.
Just random facts I wanted to share.
NERD
Sorry to keep you hanging with the last post. Everything is ok. The instructor (a 30 year old "doogie howser" type PA) called us in early simply to review the test. He got a lot of feedback after the exam and gave us the benefit of the doubt on some of the questions. He reviewed the questions that the majority of the class got wrong and then entertained our arguments. I didn't have to contribute during this process because my peers who are used to getting 100's on every exam (there's always a few in every class!) were practically throwing darts at the instructor.
I found it quite comical. But, it was nice of the instructor to review the exam. I wound up doing well on it...considering I thought I had failed. He admitted that there were TWO RIGHT ANSWERS to most of the questions, but that the Board Exam we take to get licensed is written in the same format. So, you have to pick the MOST RIGHT answer.
So, it was definitely a learning experience.
I've been really busy this weekend studying for the next round of exams. We have Pediatrics and Pathology back to back (Tues/Wed). I'm grateful for the 3-day weekend, but it's not long enough. You have no choice but to cram for every exam. It's Sunday night and I still haven't touched Pathology yet.
On Thursday, I go to the hospital to conduct a history and physical on my first real live patient (don't worry, they've already been examined and admitted!)! I'm totally looking forward to it, but the timing could be better. Not only do we have exams, but we have between 6-8 hours of lecture each day as well.
And then there's CARDIOLOGY. I am NOT a fan of cardiology. I can't articulate why I'm not a fan, but I've felt this way for quite a while. And we were taught how to read an EKG in three hours. And three hours wasn't long enough for me! I don't like it. I read an EKG and get a headache from the tiny little boxes. All of the waves look the same to me. To top it all off...the instructor (Cardiologist MD), told us that we HAVE to be able to read an EKG in 15 SECONDS. I thought he was going to say 15 MINUTES. At that point in the class, I started laughing. And this is the first time since the program started that I feel totally clueless.
The EMTs and paramedics in the class say that reading an EKG isn't hard. But most of them have been ACLS certified and reading them for years. So, my advice to pre-PA students...learn how to read EKGs before starting a program. I think it should be a pre-requisite!
If it was a pre-requisite, I'd be able to enjoy next weekend. I have a friend coming in from out of town whom I would like to spend time with, as well as two party invites. But, I won't be able to relax until I nail the EKGs...and unfortunately, there is not enough time to get that done before next weekend.
Adios mio...it's not easy being a NERD!!! ;)
I found it quite comical. But, it was nice of the instructor to review the exam. I wound up doing well on it...considering I thought I had failed. He admitted that there were TWO RIGHT ANSWERS to most of the questions, but that the Board Exam we take to get licensed is written in the same format. So, you have to pick the MOST RIGHT answer.
So, it was definitely a learning experience.
I've been really busy this weekend studying for the next round of exams. We have Pediatrics and Pathology back to back (Tues/Wed). I'm grateful for the 3-day weekend, but it's not long enough. You have no choice but to cram for every exam. It's Sunday night and I still haven't touched Pathology yet.
On Thursday, I go to the hospital to conduct a history and physical on my first real live patient (don't worry, they've already been examined and admitted!)! I'm totally looking forward to it, but the timing could be better. Not only do we have exams, but we have between 6-8 hours of lecture each day as well.
And then there's CARDIOLOGY. I am NOT a fan of cardiology. I can't articulate why I'm not a fan, but I've felt this way for quite a while. And we were taught how to read an EKG in three hours. And three hours wasn't long enough for me! I don't like it. I read an EKG and get a headache from the tiny little boxes. All of the waves look the same to me. To top it all off...the instructor (Cardiologist MD), told us that we HAVE to be able to read an EKG in 15 SECONDS. I thought he was going to say 15 MINUTES. At that point in the class, I started laughing. And this is the first time since the program started that I feel totally clueless.
The EMTs and paramedics in the class say that reading an EKG isn't hard. But most of them have been ACLS certified and reading them for years. So, my advice to pre-PA students...learn how to read EKGs before starting a program. I think it should be a pre-requisite!
If it was a pre-requisite, I'd be able to enjoy next weekend. I have a friend coming in from out of town whom I would like to spend time with, as well as two party invites. But, I won't be able to relax until I nail the EKGs...and unfortunately, there is not enough time to get that done before next weekend.
Adios mio...it's not easy being a NERD!!! ;)
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Uh Oh!
I just got a call from our class president. The instructor of our pulmonology class wants everyone to report to class an hour earlier than scheduled...today! We originally didn't have to be at school until 2pm...I got the phone call at 11am. My classmates are scattered all over Long Island...from Brooklyn to the Hamptons!
One more reason why I'm glad I only live 15 minutes away from school!
The instructor wants to review the exam that we just took on Monday. The exam that I said I didn't think I did well on. The exam that everyone left saying they didn't think they did well on. This is the first time an instructor is reviewing an exam with us....and it's the first time that we've had to report to school early and unexpectedly.
The fun never ends...
One more reason why I'm glad I only live 15 minutes away from school!
The instructor wants to review the exam that we just took on Monday. The exam that I said I didn't think I did well on. The exam that everyone left saying they didn't think they did well on. This is the first time an instructor is reviewing an exam with us....and it's the first time that we've had to report to school early and unexpectedly.
The fun never ends...
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Happy V-day
I survived the autopsy experience. We were "lucky" in that we were able to view 4 different bodies. Some days there aren't any bodies being worked on.
LUCKY ME!
This is some background on one of the bodies. It was unreal.
http://www.newsday.com/news/local/longisland/ny-lifire114622595feb11,0,2608836.story
As well as a 58 year old man that dropped dead after shoveling.
There was also a 22 year old man who died of a heart attack. Cocaine was suspected.
And then there was the 70 year old man whose body wasn't found until 4 weeks after he died.
The smells are worse than the visuals.
More about this later...my brain hasn't had enough time to fully process what I saw today. And I'm trying not to think about the families in mourning.
It's not easy.
On a side note, it was a great bonding experience for me and my classmates. The six of us (2 guys, 4 girls) went to a diner afterwards and chatted for over 2 hours. It was great to vent and realize that we're all feeling the same way about this new semester. It was also a good opportunity to poke fun at the GUY that was dry heaving during the autopsies!
He's never going to live it down!
LUCKY ME!
This is some background on one of the bodies. It was unreal.
http://www.newsday.com/news/local/longisland/ny-lifire114622595feb11,0,2608836.story
As well as a 58 year old man that dropped dead after shoveling.
There was also a 22 year old man who died of a heart attack. Cocaine was suspected.
And then there was the 70 year old man whose body wasn't found until 4 weeks after he died.
The smells are worse than the visuals.
More about this later...my brain hasn't had enough time to fully process what I saw today. And I'm trying not to think about the families in mourning.
It's not easy.
On a side note, it was a great bonding experience for me and my classmates. The six of us (2 guys, 4 girls) went to a diner afterwards and chatted for over 2 hours. It was great to vent and realize that we're all feeling the same way about this new semester. It was also a good opportunity to poke fun at the GUY that was dry heaving during the autopsies!
He's never going to live it down!
Monday, February 13, 2006
Autopsy Tomorrow
The autopsy will go on as scheduled. Our group leader called and there is a body waiting for us tomorrow morning. There are 6 other students in my group and they are 6 of my closest friends from class. That puts me more at ease, because if I happen to pass out, I know they'll catch me!!! The two guys in our group are tall, so if need be...I can always stand behind them.
I asked our group leader if he had any information on the body. His response was, "Think about it like Christmas morning, you always want to be surprised, right?"
So if you want to go to PA school, add one more pre-requisite on your list: a sick and twisted sense of humor!
It's necessary for your survival!
Keep your fingers crossed...
I asked our group leader if he had any information on the body. His response was, "Think about it like Christmas morning, you always want to be surprised, right?"
So if you want to go to PA school, add one more pre-requisite on your list: a sick and twisted sense of humor!
It's necessary for your survival!
Keep your fingers crossed...
Everest
So the first two exams of the semester are done. One of them went amazingly well (physical diagnosis lab) and the other (pulmonology), not so well.
I had two answers for many of the pulmonology questions. I also had information in the back of my brain supporting either answer. In the beginning of the semester, this instructor told us that he didn't care what our grades were on the exam. He only cared that we learned the material. He also mentioned that he was open to being challenged on some of his exam questions.
I clearly remembered his words and feared that he would give us ambiguous test questions. Well, today's exam just proved that his exam questions are open for discussion. I think he would rather have students in his office proving what they know verbally, than on a multiple choice exam. I did my best on the exam and wrote down the reasons why I could have gone either way with each answer. If I do poorly on the exam, I'll be the first one at his office door.
Medicine is not simple. You need to think outside of the box. I have a tendency to think way, way, way outside of the box! That skill will help me as a diagnositician...but not as a test taker. I don't like rote memorization. I want to know who, what, when, where, and why. And there is not enough time for that.
Last semester was very challenging, but it only brought me to base camp. This semester, I feel like I'm at the foot of Mt. Everest. And when I look up, I'm easily intimidated. But, when I look down, I realize there's no turning back. I've got no other recourse but to keep on climbing; step by step, steady and slow.
I have to get to the other side of the mountain.
I just have to.
I had two answers for many of the pulmonology questions. I also had information in the back of my brain supporting either answer. In the beginning of the semester, this instructor told us that he didn't care what our grades were on the exam. He only cared that we learned the material. He also mentioned that he was open to being challenged on some of his exam questions.
I clearly remembered his words and feared that he would give us ambiguous test questions. Well, today's exam just proved that his exam questions are open for discussion. I think he would rather have students in his office proving what they know verbally, than on a multiple choice exam. I did my best on the exam and wrote down the reasons why I could have gone either way with each answer. If I do poorly on the exam, I'll be the first one at his office door.
Medicine is not simple. You need to think outside of the box. I have a tendency to think way, way, way outside of the box! That skill will help me as a diagnositician...but not as a test taker. I don't like rote memorization. I want to know who, what, when, where, and why. And there is not enough time for that.
Last semester was very challenging, but it only brought me to base camp. This semester, I feel like I'm at the foot of Mt. Everest. And when I look up, I'm easily intimidated. But, when I look down, I realize there's no turning back. I've got no other recourse but to keep on climbing; step by step, steady and slow.
I have to get to the other side of the mountain.
I just have to.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Stress
The stress is back on. Exams start next week. 5 exams in 2 weeks, but there is the possibility that more will be added on. This semester has a different feel to it and I'm not exactly comfortable yet. All of the instructors are practicing PAs and MDs...the PhDs are gone. Every class is clinical...no more fanciful theories that enabled your mind to wander and explore. Now, it's medicine.
Now it's all about coming up with diagnoses and differential diagnoses. At this point, I'm blown away by the fact that I have the knowledge to be able to do this. The learning curve has increased exponentially. More is expected of us. Last semester was about passing every class. This semester is about nailing every exam and increasing your knowledge base.
As our director said, "You are all thoroughbreds now and the starting gate has opened. You need to get to the head of the pack and stay there. There's no looking back...you gotta keep on running."
I've cancelled my plans for the weekend.
It's time to get serious again.
Now it's all about coming up with diagnoses and differential diagnoses. At this point, I'm blown away by the fact that I have the knowledge to be able to do this. The learning curve has increased exponentially. More is expected of us. Last semester was about passing every class. This semester is about nailing every exam and increasing your knowledge base.
As our director said, "You are all thoroughbreds now and the starting gate has opened. You need to get to the head of the pack and stay there. There's no looking back...you gotta keep on running."
I've cancelled my plans for the weekend.
It's time to get serious again.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Valentine's Day
I've already got a date lined up for Valentine's Day! And it promises to be one of those, "I'm going to remember this for the rest of my life" experiences! Sounds intriguing, eh?
Well, I'm scheduled to go down to the County Medical Examiner's Office to view an autopsy.
Yup, an autopsy on V-day...how apropos!
Our pathology instructor says it's part of the desensitization process. I'm always up for a new experience, but I will admit that I am nervous about this one. At least with the cadavers, we knew it was going to be one male and one female. And we also knew that they donated their bodies to science. We won't have any idea if we're going to be watching an autopsy of a baby, kid, adolescent, adult, or senior...until we walk through the door.
And I find that quite unnerving.
But, as my father stated so eloquently, "You gotta get over it, KID!"
Well, I'm scheduled to go down to the County Medical Examiner's Office to view an autopsy.
Yup, an autopsy on V-day...how apropos!
Our pathology instructor says it's part of the desensitization process. I'm always up for a new experience, but I will admit that I am nervous about this one. At least with the cadavers, we knew it was going to be one male and one female. And we also knew that they donated their bodies to science. We won't have any idea if we're going to be watching an autopsy of a baby, kid, adolescent, adult, or senior...until we walk through the door.
And I find that quite unnerving.
But, as my father stated so eloquently, "You gotta get over it, KID!"
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Brooklyn Birthday
It's Superbowl Sunday and instead of settling down with chips and beer, I'm prepping to go to Brooklyn to celebrate George's 30th birthday at Bogota! Apparently, watching football isn't something cool, hip Brooklynites do anymore. So, I'll be sipping on a mojito, snacking on shrimp ceviche, and mingling with the non-football loving types!
I simply enjoy watching any kind of competitive sport. I didn't get to watch much football this past season because I was always studying. The fact that I'm missing the big game is a testament to the love I have for my dear friend, George.
However, there is a hoppin sports bar down the street that I may just have to visit. C'mon, I'm a single gal that loves football. This is MY night to shine! haha
Happy Birthday, George!
www.bogotabistro.com
I simply enjoy watching any kind of competitive sport. I didn't get to watch much football this past season because I was always studying. The fact that I'm missing the big game is a testament to the love I have for my dear friend, George.
However, there is a hoppin sports bar down the street that I may just have to visit. C'mon, I'm a single gal that loves football. This is MY night to shine! haha
Happy Birthday, George!
www.bogotabistro.com
Sunday, January 29, 2006
It's Not Good
I was hoping to leave the bio-chemical terrorism seminar with some inside information. I was hoping to share some good news about the progress that has been made over the last few years. But, from a healthcare standpoint, it's not good. It's actually really disturbing and if I get into it, I won't sleep tonight.
I can't really say that I learned anything new other than the fact that there's evidence of bio-chemical warfare dating back to 2000 BC! Which means that people have been trying to kill other people with chemicals for a really long time. I don't consider myself an optimist, pessimist or even a fatalist. I happen to jive with the realists. Most experts say that it's not a matter of if...it's a matter of when, and where. And I believe that to be true. I believe that to be the reality of the world that we live in.
I really hope that I am not working in the ER when it happens.
But, if I am working, I am now trained to recognize the signs and symptoms of a bio-chemical attack. I'll even know what to do, but I learned that there are not enough meds to go around. I learned that nearby hospitals do have protective gear for healthcare workers, but when today's speaker visited the local hospital, the healthcare staff couldn't find them!
Like I said, it's not good. And I'm starting to get into it...and it's late and I need to sleep so I can learn how to practice medicine tomorrow. Perhaps when I complete this program and walk away with my Master's in Public Health...I'll be able to work on a solution. But, for right now, I'm saying a prayer, then pulling the wool over my eyes and going to sleep.
That's the best I can do...for now.
I can't really say that I learned anything new other than the fact that there's evidence of bio-chemical warfare dating back to 2000 BC! Which means that people have been trying to kill other people with chemicals for a really long time. I don't consider myself an optimist, pessimist or even a fatalist. I happen to jive with the realists. Most experts say that it's not a matter of if...it's a matter of when, and where. And I believe that to be true. I believe that to be the reality of the world that we live in.
I really hope that I am not working in the ER when it happens.
But, if I am working, I am now trained to recognize the signs and symptoms of a bio-chemical attack. I'll even know what to do, but I learned that there are not enough meds to go around. I learned that nearby hospitals do have protective gear for healthcare workers, but when today's speaker visited the local hospital, the healthcare staff couldn't find them!
Like I said, it's not good. And I'm starting to get into it...and it's late and I need to sleep so I can learn how to practice medicine tomorrow. Perhaps when I complete this program and walk away with my Master's in Public Health...I'll be able to work on a solution. But, for right now, I'm saying a prayer, then pulling the wool over my eyes and going to sleep.
That's the best I can do...for now.
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